Journals184
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Sony
2 min read
It's been a while since I last posted here, over a year and a half. I'm mostly on tumblr now. I've since left Intel to go work for Sony as a graphics software engineer for the PlayStation Developer Support Services team. I work on the PlayStation 4, helping engineers at other game studios get their stuff working on the PS4. It's really cool! I get to work super close to the hardware, which is a cool change. I'm learning a lot about developing for a console; it really is vastly different from developing for PC.
I didn't really post here at all during my time at Intel, but I'll say it wasn't the best time ever. I'm a lot happier now and even though I still live in California, I now live in a much better part of California where there's actually stuff to do and things to see. I took up snowboarding last winter and I'm really excited for the season to start. I've been ice skating too and getting back into cosplay.
At any rate, it's taken me a long time, but I finally work in the game industry and I'm really happy about it!
I didn't really post here at all during my time at Intel, but I'll say it wasn't the best time ever. I'm a lot happier now and even though I still live in California, I now live in a much better part of California where there's actually stuff to do and things to see. I took up snowboarding last winter and I'm really excited for the season to start. I've been ice skating too and getting back into cosplay.
At any rate, it's taken me a long time, but I finally work in the game industry and I'm really happy about it!
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California
1 min read
I live here now.
What's up with that?
Intel, prepare yourself.
What's up with that?
Intel, prepare yourself.
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Happy 2012
1 min read
Happy Number Change day, y'all!
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Moving to California
1 min read
I got a job at Intel in Sacramento, so I'm going to be moving soon.
Not much else to report. I don't feel like writing right now.
Not much else to report. I don't feel like writing right now.
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Whining
3 min read
I don't typically do this shit publicly anymore, but I just need to vent.
My life is going pretty well now. I've got job interviews out the ass and I'm really close to finishing my thesis.
Why, then, am I totally fucking miserable? I don't know. I feel like a tool for feeling this bad, but that doesn't change the fact that I am depressed. I've tried reasoning it away as hard as I can, but it hasn't worked.
One of the main reasons, as far as I can tell, is that none of the jobs I've been interviewing for and can realistically take are game industry. I thought that internship at Activision would have gotten me back in no problem, but evidently not. I had an onsite interview at a defense contractor yesterday and I have an interview with a company that makes CAD software next week. I've had phone interviews with them, a company in Japan, and a company in California. The job in Japan is really the closest to what I want to do with my career (game middleware), but despite my love for many Japanese nerd things, the thought of moving to Japan is actually really terrifying. That and I don't want to be stuck at any of these companies for a long time. I want to make games and nothing is going to change that.
Another, arguably larger, reason is that my personal life is nonexistent. My best friends are hundreds of miles away, I have no time to do art or cosplay these days, and I barely have time to play video games anymore. If I take one of the local jobs, I'll probably have some free time again, maybe my best friends will move back here soon, and then I'll just have a lame job for a while. If I take the job in Japan, almost all of my friends will be in different time zones and I might hate it there, but I'll have a cool job for a while. Then there's the issue of being ronery/forever alone/whatever the fuck you want to call it, but that's not worth talking about or even really trying to address because I have more important things to do. That hasn't stopped other people from trying to hook me up with people I don't care about or ever want to meet, of course. I can't deny that this has also been affecting my mood, though. If I could undo millions of years of human evolutionary biology, I would.
I really shouldn't be as depressed as I am. I have it pretty good.
But the fact of that matter is I hate my life right now.
My life is going pretty well now. I've got job interviews out the ass and I'm really close to finishing my thesis.
Why, then, am I totally fucking miserable? I don't know. I feel like a tool for feeling this bad, but that doesn't change the fact that I am depressed. I've tried reasoning it away as hard as I can, but it hasn't worked.
One of the main reasons, as far as I can tell, is that none of the jobs I've been interviewing for and can realistically take are game industry. I thought that internship at Activision would have gotten me back in no problem, but evidently not. I had an onsite interview at a defense contractor yesterday and I have an interview with a company that makes CAD software next week. I've had phone interviews with them, a company in Japan, and a company in California. The job in Japan is really the closest to what I want to do with my career (game middleware), but despite my love for many Japanese nerd things, the thought of moving to Japan is actually really terrifying. That and I don't want to be stuck at any of these companies for a long time. I want to make games and nothing is going to change that.
Another, arguably larger, reason is that my personal life is nonexistent. My best friends are hundreds of miles away, I have no time to do art or cosplay these days, and I barely have time to play video games anymore. If I take one of the local jobs, I'll probably have some free time again, maybe my best friends will move back here soon, and then I'll just have a lame job for a while. If I take the job in Japan, almost all of my friends will be in different time zones and I might hate it there, but I'll have a cool job for a while. Then there's the issue of being ronery/forever alone/whatever the fuck you want to call it, but that's not worth talking about or even really trying to address because I have more important things to do. That hasn't stopped other people from trying to hook me up with people I don't care about or ever want to meet, of course. I can't deny that this has also been affecting my mood, though. If I could undo millions of years of human evolutionary biology, I would.
I really shouldn't be as depressed as I am. I have it pretty good.
But the fact of that matter is I hate my life right now.
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